We have all heard of the expressions that the empty drum makes the most noise or that silent waters run deep.  These allegories are meant to make the point that people who have a depth of feelings and thoughts usually do not need to make a big show of themselves.

I have always been a somewhat introspective and private individual who never felt the need to overtly seek the attention of others.  If that is the case, how did I ever gravitate to the legal profession which is an arena that demands you be a bit of a showman?   It was not an easy process for me and required that I train myself to step out of my comfort zone and become a much more expressive person.   I compare this transformation to that experienced by some actors who are by nature very private people but who are able to summon an entirely different persona when they take the stage.  In many ways, the practice of law and litigation, in particular, is very much like taking the stage and putting on a show.

In order to be successful in my chosen profession, I needed to find a way to be comfortable with public speaking and to hone my skills as a writer.   I eventually reached a point where I was proficient at both.   I suppose that my blog writing is an extension of that acquired expressiveness.   Yet, I was never very comfortable with small talk or the kind of casual banter that makes mingling at parties and social events so easy for some people.   This was mostly due to a lack of desire rather than a lack of ability.   I would rather be asked to make a speech to a large group of people than to be thrown into their midst and required to work the room with a continuous patter of small talk.

When I started to operate USFSB and to phase out my law practice, I made another transformation.   I had less need for public speaking and began to have a greater understanding of the value of talking with people one on one in both my business and personal life.   I came to recognize that there is a big difference between speaking and talking.   One is a unilateral attempt to convey information or promote your point of view while the other is all about your very personal interaction with another person.  In other words, we tend to speak to people whereas we generally talk with people.

I now appreciate the benefits of doing less speaking and more talking.

On Monday, Joe provides information on Wills in “Where There Is A Will There Is A Way”.