When The Walls Come Tumbling Down

HE SAYS:

We build barriers and walls all around us in many different ways but always to protect ourselves from some kind of real or perceived harm.

In our personal lives we are prone to keep certain things to ourselves lest they be misconstrued or, worse yet, used against us.   You know, when we build a wall around our feelings because we are afraid to let anyone in too easily so that we won’t be hurt.

When I practiced law the walls were of a different nature.  Dealing with your adversary, particularly, in litigation was much like playing a game of chess.  You did not want to tip your hand too soon and let the other side know your strategy or become aware of your game plan while at the same time you were trying to find out all you could about your adversary’s plans.  You were both trying to get a peek over the wall that each of you had built around your case.

Even when negotiating a settlement, neither side wanted to fully disclose the weaknesses in their case nor how much either party would accept or pay to settle.  If you tried to cut to the chase and demand your rock bottom settlement amount the other side always still believed you were hiding your true demand.   Full disclosure and frank conversations were always filtered through a wall of secrecy so that you did not reveal too much too soon and lose your advantage.

I have found that in running a small business you still need to build those walls.  When we try to establish a business relationship many times there is the jockeying for position, the posturing, and the carefully measured responses so that each side does not completely reveal their hand.  The walls are erected as soon as the first conversation starts.   It can be a long and arduous process to finally reach an agreement, if at all.

Even in ongoing business relationships there is a tendency to keep your guard up making it feel as if you are interacting with each other from behind two friendly but separate walled encampments.  Everyone is still holding their cards close to their chest.  I think the business community feels the need to guard its secrets even when there are no real secrets to guard.

When will all of these walls come tumbling down?  Probably never, since we need to protect ourselves, after all.

On Monday, Joe comments on downsizing to a core group of valuable employees in “The Few, The Chosen, And The Brave”.

WHAT DO YOU SAY?

 

Only Free To Say What They Want To Hear

HE SAYS:

It seems some people only believe in the freedom of speech when what is being said is what they want to hear.   Freedom of speech has become the victim of a selective process usually controlled by the liberal media and social liberals of all kinds.

Two examples, I believe make my point.   A famous liberal comedian and host of a controversial television show attacked a politician and called her vile and obscene names during his rant over her conservative values and political views.  His outrageous comments were held to be above reproach as he was afforded all of his rights to the freedom of speech.   A famous conservative radio talk show host and controversial commentator made a derogatory remark about a socially liberal woman advocating for more access to free contraceptives as part of his attack on her agenda.   An uproar ensued and he was vilified by the press and every liberal group that could be found.  There was no consideration given to his right to the freedom of speech.

You do not have to judge the merits of either example to understand that there is a fundamental hypocrisy in the way that we selectively apply the protection of the freedom of speech.   As I pointed out in “Political Correctness”, it is those self-righteous and, usually, liberal minded people who advocate for political correctness, supposedly, to prevent intolerance and who believe that they have the right to moderate our social dialogue that are the least tolerant and the most likely to trample on the freedom of speech of those they don’t like or don’t agree with.

These self-appointed censors pick and choose what speech and which speakers are to be protected and decide who is to be punished based on whether or not they like what they have heard or dislike the speaker.

Make no mistake that there is a vast divide in this country between the liberal and conservative points of view on many social and political issues and that it is the liberal agenda that has the loudest voice and is most likely to suppress opposing points of view.  There has always been a large disparity between the media exposure afforded the vocal and sometimes militant minority who try to force their point of view on everyone else and the usually ignored and less intrusive silent majority.

We have all heard of or seen liberal college and university students hounding conservative speakers off their campuses simply because they do not like or want anyone to hear what the speaker has to say.   Have you ever heard of a conservative group of students hounding even the most liberal of speakers off campus even if that speaker wants to advocate for violence or social upheaval?  No, of course not, since, historically, it is usually only those that like to think that they have a monopoly on the truth—but also fear that they don’t—who feel the need to stifle other people’s freedom of speech.

Ultimately, our freedom of speech should not be held hostage by either liberals or conservatives but should be universally available to everyone and every point of view.   It is only through the free and open exchange of ideas and opinions, even if unwanted or disliked, that we can truly be a free country and be able to call ourselves an enlightened society.

On Wednesday, Joe wonders if we will ever tear down the walls that we build in “When The Walls Come Tumbling Down”.

WHAT DO YOU SAY?

 

Our Greatest Virtue Is Also Our Greatest Folly

HE SAYS:

As a free country, we pride ourselves in being just and giving even the worst offenders in our society the same fair and impartial treatment as anyone else in our criminal justice system.   This is one of our greatest virtues.  When we try to extend this sort of virtuous treatment to the likes of the two terrorists currently on trial at Guantanamo Bay for the 9/11 attacks it becomes our greatest folly.

The trial has barely started and already the defendants are creating disruptions and seem intent on making a mockery of both the trial and the deaths of the thousands of people they killed.   Just as reprehensible are the defense attorneys who plan on making hundreds of motions designed to put the military on trial as part of their strategy to turn the tables on the tribunal and make the defendants appear to be the victims of abuse, hostility, and injustice.

Let’s get real here.  The defendants have proudly admitted to being the masterminds behind all of the attacks that took place on 9/11.  One of the defendants also has boasted that he personally committed the killing of a kidnapped American reporter by slitting his throat while on video tape for the whole world to see, including the victim’s family.   It is ludicrous to view their conduct as mere crimes when by any reasonable estimation these were barbaric acts of war designed to advance their goal of destroying our way of life.

It is a virtue to give even a hardened and unremorseful criminal in our society all of the rights and protections that we afford every other citizen or resident.   It is complete folly to extend these same rights and protections to terrorists who are part of a worldwide network of fanatics that want to destroy us.

I say that we should not and need not be so generous as to extend to these admitted terrorists the benefits of the free society that they hoped to terminate.   Perhaps, it would be a more fitting and just end to these terrorists if they were waterboarded one last time, along with their lackey attorneys, on their way to being summarily executed in a most gruesome manner.

May I suggest that we leave them on top of a very tall burning building?

On Wednesday, Joe comments on the selective nature of our freedom of speech in “Only Free To Say What They Want To Hear”.

WHAT DO YOU SAY?

 

At Home in Arizona

SHE SAYS:

Every day that we’ve been in our Arizona house, it feels more and more like home.  Last year, I talked about our first winter in Arizona in “Home is Where the Heart is”.  This year, we arrived in Arizona in late January and did not leave until May 1st.

In October, when we traveled through Israel, we purchased an original painting from a local artist and a handmade copper platter, both of which are now displayed in our Arizona home.  This is something we have done with other items over the years.  When we travel to foreign countries, we always like to bring back something unique and display it in our home in New York.  Now we have begun buying items with our new home in mind.   Adding these items of personal significance to our house in Arizona helps make it feel more like home.

Most of all, sharing our house in Arizona with family is what ultimately makes it feel like it is our home.  Our first family visitors were Matthew and Erika along with Erika’s parents and sister.  They arrived for a long weekend in late March so that we could all celebrate Matthew and Erika’s First Wedding Anniversary.  That was a very special weekend!  We all gathered together to prepare and enjoy meals and, of course, spend time at the pool.  We visited a couple of nearby places and generally just enjoyed each other’s company.  We have all become one big, happy family.

Only a couple of weeks later, it was Easter and we were lucky to have all four of our children join us along with significant others.  Julia came from Syracuse, Joseph came from NYC, and Matthew, Erika and Michael came from San Francisco along with a group of their friends.  My Mother also came from Florida.  In all, there were fifteen of us for the weekend.

For a few days before everyone arrived for Easter, I cooked and baked in preparation for the weekend making all of our traditional family recipes.  Just like last year, we put everyone to work on Saturday morning making dough for homemade ravioli and then spent a couple of hours putting them together for Sunday’s dinner.  Everyone loves the process and because of the team effort, the ravioli tastes that much better.

Part of the ravioli-making crew

Some of the ravioli we made

Getting ready to serve the ravioli

This year, I will share my family recipe for Easter Meat Pie as well as some pictures from the weekend.  The recipe goes back, at least, to my Mother’s Grandmother. 

Easter Meat Pie

Ingredients:

PIE CRUST
2 cups Flour
2/3 teaspoon Baking Powder
1/3 Teaspoon Salt
3 Tablespoons Shortening
1 Egg
½ Cup Cold Water

FILLING
8 oz. Pepperoni, diced (optional)
4 oz. Cappicola, diced
12 oz. Fresh Ground Sweet Italian Sausage Meat
4 oz. Ham, chopped
8 oz. Mozzarella Cheese, diced
4 oz. Provolone Cheese, diced
4 oz. Prosciutto, diced
4 oz. Salami, diced
(All of the above are approx. amounts)
1 Level Tablespoon Grated Romano Cheese
1 – 1 ½ Pound Fresh Ricotta Cheese
2 Eggs

Prepare the Crust:
 A.  Sift the dry ingredients together.
 B.  Blend the shortening into the sifted dry ingredients with a fork.
 C.  Mix the egg with the cold water and add to the flour mixture until a ball is formed.
 D.  Refrigerate the dough for at least one hour.

Prepare the Filling:
 A.  Brown the sausage meat and set aside to cool.
 B.  Combine the ricotta and Romano cheese.  Add two eggs, one at a time, beating after each egg with a wooden spoon.
 C.  Add all other ingredients and blend well.   The meat to cheese ratio is a matter of personal choice.   Blend in as much cheese as desired for the amount of meats used. 

Prepare the Pie:
 A.  Divide the dough into two portions for the top and bottom crust.
 B.  Roll out enough of the dough to line a deep pie pan (approx. 2 inches deep and 10 inches in diameter) with the dough.
 C.  Pour the filling into the lined pan and cover with the top pie crust.   Trim the crust, leaving a ½ inch overhang.
 D.  Fold the overhanging dough under and back to flute thickly.
 E.  Cut slits in the pie to allow steam to escape. 
 F.  Lightly brush the top of the crust with beaten egg whites before putting the pie into the oven.
 G.  Bake in a 400◦ preheated oven for fifteen minutes, then lower to 325 degrees and continue to bake for 45 more minutes. 
 H.  Remove from the oven.  Let stand for 5 minutes.  Can be served hot or cold.

Easter Morning Breakfast

Relaxing at the pool

On Monday, Joe offers a better alternative to the trial of the 9/11 terrorists in “Our Greatest Virtue Is Also Our Greatest Folly”. 

WHAT DO YOU SAY?

 

Let Me Get The Door For You

HE SAYS:

I have already described my anxieties and concerns about flying in “Enjoy Your Flight”.    In some of my more recent flights, I have sought out and was happy to secure a seat in one of the emergency exit rows for two very important reasons, more leg room and to avoid the possibility of the passenger in front of me reclining onto my lap for the entire flight.

I usually find myself cynically snickering under my breath, as the flight attendant calmly and reassuringly describes the duties of the people sitting in these seats including the process of opening the emergency door without any assistance from the flight crew so that you can help evacuate the passengers in the event of an “emergency landing”.   I always give my verbal assurance with great conviction when asked if I am willing and able to perform these duties even though I fully comprehend that an “emergency landing” is industry jargon for a plane crash and that no one will be opening any emergency doors.

I am also amused in a fatalistic sort of way with the whole safety instructions routine, particularly, the part about the proper use of the life vests or other flotation devices that are stored under the seats.   I take their word for the fact that these devices really exist; however, I am equally sure that if we have an “emergency landing” (insert the word crash here) in water these devices will be as helpful as those emergency doors.   Yes, I am aware of that miraculous landing in the Hudson River; however, it is so noteworthy because it was a miraculous one in a million kind of occurrence.

I like to hear all of the safety instructions and I like to think that I would open the emergency door and save my fellow passengers simply because it allows me to be able to, at least, partially suspend my disbelief and feel that all of these safety measures might work and we could all walk away from that “emergency landing”.   It’s a little bit like being reassured during an audit that the IRS is fair and reasonable and only wants to help you.  When faced with a stressful situation, we all want to hear such reassurances even if we don’t completely believe them.

I am a little conflicted about writing this blog while on my flight home from Phoenix because I am the last one who would tempt fate by writing about plane crashes while actually on a plane.   If you are reading this, then either everything went smoothly or I was able to open that emergency door after all.

On Wednesday, Annemarie comments on recent family gatherings at their Arizona home in “At Home In Arizona”.

WHAT DO YOU SAY?

 

Respect Is Hard To Come By These Days

HE SAYS:

Annemarie and I attended the Presidential Inauguration for President George W. Bush’s second term in January, 2005.  I understood that there would be protests in and around Washington, DC; however, I did not expect to see the extremely virulent, vile, abusive, and totally disrespectful display of protest signs, including suggestions of violence as well as explicit and profane epithets directed personally at the President.   

It is not that I was surprised that the mob of unruly protesters was capable of such rude, obnoxious, and distasteful behavior but that they did not have the good sense to understand that while asserting their right to protest they should have also exhibited some respect for the Office of the President of the United States if not the man himself.   It is one thing to disagree with the government, as represented by the President and his policies or decisions; it is quite another thing to reduce your protest to a personal attack on the person of the President.

It is a sign of the times that people in general and those that feel the need to vent in the streets, in particular, have lost all sight of the social restraint that comes when you have respect for authority.   I am not suggesting that as a free society we should not openly question authority; however, there is no value in simply lashing out at authority figures on a personal level as if berating, belittling, and insulting them will make things better or effectively advance your cause.

As an aside, for several years before I retired from my law career, I did defense work representing police officers who were sued for alleged civil rights violations, usually based on allegations of excessive force.   It always amazed me how many of these litigants fought with, cursed at, spit on, and generally were abusive to the police officers before, during, and even after their arrest, much of which was caught on tape.  It always seemed to me that it would take an incredibly disrespectful not to mention reckless individual to engage in these antics with an armed police officer.  Again, a sign of the times.

As far back as the protests over the Vietnam War, there has been a new breed of protestor that is extreme, disrespectful, impatient, and prone to reduce everything to a catchy slogan or “sound bite” instead of developing real ideas in a positive manner.   My theory is that the post war baby boomers were the first generation raised in an environment of instant gratification and slick advertisements on television where every concept was reduced to thirty seconds of jingles and Madison Avenue slogans and nothing has changed ever since.

I am part of that post war generation and yet I grasp the idea of showing respect where it is due even when I disagree.   I have not agreed with or liked every President, for example, but I always respected both the Office and the abilities of anyone who can rise to the highest pinnacle of his chosen profession.  Respect for our elected officials, the police, or authority figures, in general, may be hard to come by these days; however, we all need to understand that there is nothing wrong with showing a little respect even when we disagree or as we air our grievances.

On Monday, Joe makes some personal observations in “Let Me Get The Door For You”.        

WHAT DO YOU SAY?

 

One Good Turn Should Deserve Another

HE SAYS:

I have always believed in the proposition that you should treat people as you would want them to treat you.   I try to live up to that belief in both my personal and business life.

In my personal life this will manifest itself in many ways.  I will give my friends the benefit of the doubt and will take the position that they deserve my loyalty unless and until they show me otherwise.  I also will not judge my friends based on what other people say about them.  I will try to base my opinion about my friends on how they have treated me and not on how they may have behaved with others.  There are always two sides to every story and I don’t want to condemn someone, particularly, a friend after only hearing one side of that story.

In business, I try to adopt the same principles; however, I have found that the dynamics of the workplace make this more difficult.  As I have mentioned, when I first came to USFSB I did not have a lot of experience with managing and supervising a group of employees.   There was a significant amount of bickering and jockeying for position that may be considered standard office politics but which was totally foreign and, somewhat, disturbing to me.  This was compounded by the fact that as the employer you can be cordial to your employees but you, also, need to be a little distant and detached from them and the office politics so that you do not appear to be taking sides.  You need to be above the fray.

Even though, by and large, I was not friends with my employees, I still tried to treat them as I would have wanted to be treated by my employer.  The biggest disappointment, for me, in running a business and interacting with my employees was the fact that I was often wrong in my belief that my good deeds would be rewarded.   I believed if I treated my employees fairly, gave them financial rewards, and helped them as much as possible that I would, in turn, be rewarded with their loyalty, extra effort, and genuine concern for the success of the business.   I have found over the years that this is not always the case.       

On more than one occasion, when an employee has resigned, they seem to totally disregard all of the good things that had been done for them.  Even when they give reasonable notice, which is not always the case, they call in sick with impunity, they don’t follow through with promised training, they leave their unfinished work in disarray, and they generally act as if you do not deserve any loyalty.   When this happens, Annemarie and I can only shake our heads and say to ourselves will we ever learn?   On these occasions, I am reminded of the fact that, at least, in the workplace sometimes it seems that no good deed goes unpunished.

On Wednesday, Joe makes an observation about the breakdown of respect for authority in our society in “Respect Is Hard To Come By These Days”.

WHAT DO YOU SAY?

 

Debt Can Be Deadly

HE SAYS:

Unmanageable debt can bring a small business to its knees.   All efforts should be made to operate your business from cash flow without the need to incur any debts; however, when it is absolutely necessary to borrow money it should be done wisely.

If you dream of starting your own business, it is better to wait until you have put enough start-up money aside to open your doors without the use of borrowed money.   Once started, you should do everything you can to avoid having to borrow money for your business.   Invest your time and hard work, do not buy anything that the business cannot pay for, and do not make the classic mistake of expanding faster than the business can handle.

Borrowing money to run your business should be the exception and not the rule.   Your chances of success will increase if you do not borrow at all; however, if you must borrow, you should follow some basic guidelines.   You should confine any borrowing to short term loans that you know can be repaid from the business.   You should avoid trying to sustain your business by depleting your savings, taking cash advances on your credit cards, or encumbering your home with mortgages or home equity loans.   If your business cannot sustain itself; or, when necessary, carry needed short term debt, then you should cut back on your spending or think about getting into another line of work.

Debt spells nothing but trouble for any small business owner.   There is nothing more frustrating to the owner of a business then to find that the money being generated from all of the hard work and effort is only serving to line the pockets of the creditors of the business instead of being available to the owner of the business.   Debt reduces your options and makes operating your business much more difficult because you now have to answer to the demands of your creditors rather than being able to run your business as you see fit.

If you are fortunate enough to be able to operate your business without borrowing any money, you will have the ability to pursue your own vision and not that of your creditors.

On Monday, Joe comments on how good deeds are not always rewarded in “One Good Turn Should Deserve Another”.

WHAT DO YOU SAY?

 

My Life Was An Open Book

HE SAYS:

When I was 15 years old or so I started reading and did not stop for almost three years.   I mean serious, voracious reading.  I would read every free moment I had.   Even if I went out with friends, when I came home I would read well into the night if not all night and, sometimes, for entire weekends.

This was not about being a nerd or a bookworm.  I was neither.   I had an active social life, played sports, dated, went to parties and hung out with my friends.   I did everything you would expect from a socially active teenager.  This had nothing to do with school or being a good student, even though I was.   I had just reached a point for reasons that are still not entirely clear to me where I wanted or, perhaps, needed a place that I could retreat to that was private and personal.   I accomplished this by creating a world that was full of books.

I started with science fiction books.   I read works by Ray Bradbury, Edgar Rice Burroughs, and George Orwell, to name a few, as well as a host of other more obscure books by less well known authors.  This finally gave way to the classics such as “War and Peace”, “A Tale of Two Cities”, many of Shakespeare’s plays, and just about all of the books by Charles Dickens.  When that ran its course, I turned to anything and everything about history.  It did not matter what time period or era was involved.   I read everything from “The Rise and Fall of The Roman Empire” to books about the Civil War and World War II.   I even read “Mein Kampf”.

Finally, as I approached 17, I decided that I wanted to really challenge myself and started to read about the Greek Philosophers, Socrates, Plato, and Aristotle and then moved on to the likes of  Machiavelli, Nietzsche, and Schopenhauer.   I did not just read these books; I analyzed, dissected, and studied them.  It became a matter of personal pride that I conquer these books.   In some ways, I felt the need to acquire as much knowledge and information that I could.  This was not about feeling special or better than anyone else since I kept all of this private and never discussed it with my friends or family.  It was just for my own personal gratification.

In some sense it was also an act of rebellion.   This was what I did when I wanted to be disconnected from the people around me.  When I felt the need to escape I would just retreat to my books.  I found that reading was a great way for me to get away from it all.  Most teenage rebellions involve alcohol, drugs and stupid mischief.  I am thankful that there was something inside of me that made me retreat into the world of books instead of doing something destructive.

This phase in my life was not part of any master plan for my future.   However, it has served me well over the years in my practice of law and in my role as a small business owner.

Knowledge is power in any setting.

On Wednesday, Joe comments on the destructive nature of too much debt in “Debt Can Be Deadly”.

WHAT DO YOU SAY?

 

The Race Goes To The Swift

HE SAYS:

When we watch a foot race between relatively equally matched athletes, we understand that they all start the race at the same starting line; however, by the end of the race there usually is one winner, one who comes in last and the rest finish somewhere in between.  We accept this as the natural order of things and we give our accolades to the winner for running a good race and even though we may give credit to the last place finisher for his effort we also acknowledge that he fell short and lost.

Life is a little like that race.   I am all for the proposition that we are all created equal; however, in the race of life, there will be those who finish far ahead of the others with most of us being somewhere in the middle.  Regardless of how society measures success, whether it is based on the accumulation of wealth, acquiring knowledge, the amount of your good deeds, the fulfillment you achieve in your life, or simply the responsibilities you assume for your family, in the race of life, some people have more success than others.

Even as we give our allegiance to equality, we also must embrace the fact that we all do not finish the race of life equally.   Some of us finish strong, some of us barely finish at all, and the rest of us fall somewhere in the middle.   Just as in that foot race, I believe that those people who finish strong deserve our praise and admiration and those that did not run a good race should accept the consequences of having fallen short.

Obviously, I understand that life is more complicated than a simple foot race and that there are many factors, some of which are beyond our control, which could affect our ability to run a good race so to speak.   However, on the other hand, we must also recognize that much of what determines how we finish in the race of life is based on our efforts, our drive, our attitudes and many other factors over which we do have control.

So, on your mark, get set, go!

On Monday, Joe reveals a unique phase in his life that turned out to be of help to him in “My Life Was An Open Book”.

WHAT DO YOU SAY?